"Back On Track At Indy!"
Before I begin with this issue of "Nascar Wrecks"...I need to explain why it's been so long since our last issue. Here's why:..I totally screwed up my back.
My neighbor is putting a deck on the second level of his townhouse. So Mr. Conan Construction (me)...decided to help slap that puppy up. We dug 4 holes...30 inches deep and 16 inches wide...no problem. Mixed and poured over 500 lbs of concrete to set the posts. Commenced to sawing, hammering, and screwing the deck together. Within three days, we had that bad boy up and looking good. So, I'm putting ONE more screw in the decking and all of the sudden...the most intense pain a person could ever experience, shot thru my lower back....it was more painful than watching an entire episode of "Nascar Nation!"
(Warning!...comedy comin' atcha!)
Hey Mark, you look like your in pain...what's the matter?
"I have a weak back"...
When did you get that?"
Oh, about a week back!"
So now, I sit here bent like a pretzel, contemplating shooting heroin in my retna... to ease the pain...in the meantime, another handful of Motrin should suffice.
(We now return to regularly scheduled column)
There are two races that all Nextel Cup drivers want more than others. Daytona 500, NASCAR's biggest event and Indy! No need to explain Daytona here, but, Indy is not only one hell of a payday..$9,180,902.00 it's freakin' INDIANAPOLIS. Can you name a more famous and storied track?
The problem with Cup cars at Indy is...it's a boring race! Always has been, drivers usually have a difficult time passing at Indy. Another thing about Sunday's race is...we'll learn more about who actually has a shot at making the chase for the Nextel Cup.
If Jimmie Johnson has an alright day and his car owner/teammate Jeff Gordon doesn't...The Wonderboy (Jeff) ain't gonna be chasing the Cup. Ever notice how Jeff seems to always be able to bring it, for the really big races?
Gordon can become the all-time race winner at Indianapolis with a victory. Gordon’s four NASCAR wins at IMS ties him with four-time Indianapolis 500 champions A.J. Foyt, Al Unser and Rick Mears... I know...I know...It's a different kinda racin' all together...(It's a different kinda racin').
Stop!..now go back and read that last sentence...did everyone do the "all together" part?
The next best at Indy, is Dale Jarrett... he's won two Brickyard events, and has five top-five runs. He's currently 10th in points. Kevin Harvick won at Indy in 2003. Bill Elliott returns to the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series this week in the #91 car. He won in 2002 and has nine top-10 finishes at Indianapolis… Bobby Labonte has one Brickyard victory and four top fives. … Rusty Wallace has five top fives and nine top 10s. … Mark Martin has four top fives and six top 10s. … Tony Stewart has only six Indy starts in NASCAR, but has put together two top-five and three top-10 finishes. He also made five starts in the Indianapolis 500 from 1996-2001, with three top-10 finishes.
There ain't nobody hotter than "Smoke" (Tony) going into this weekend at what he considers his home track...then, again it's home track status for Ryan Newman and Jeff Gordon too.
Sunday at 2:40pm EST the green flag waves to start 400 miles, 160 laps around a 2.5 mile oval of follow the leader, single line racing and whoever kisses the brick's when it's over...will not only collect one of the biggest paychecks of their career, but own lifelong bragging rights...."Yeah, I won at Indy!"
Mark
P.S....you didn't actually think we'd do a column without mentioning Dale Jr. did you? He's blowing away everyone in the Most Popular Driver voting. With more than 2.5 million votes cast by race fans nationwide at www.mostpopulardriver.comJeff Gordon is running second followed by Kasey Kahne, Kevin Harvick, Rusty Wallace, Tony Stewart, Michael Waltrip, Dale Jarrett, Mark Martin and Jimmie Johnson.
My neighbor is putting a deck on the second level of his townhouse. So Mr. Conan Construction (me)...decided to help slap that puppy up. We dug 4 holes...30 inches deep and 16 inches wide...no problem. Mixed and poured over 500 lbs of concrete to set the posts. Commenced to sawing, hammering, and screwing the deck together. Within three days, we had that bad boy up and looking good. So, I'm putting ONE more screw in the decking and all of the sudden...the most intense pain a person could ever experience, shot thru my lower back....it was more painful than watching an entire episode of "Nascar Nation!"
(Warning!...comedy comin' atcha!)
Hey Mark, you look like your in pain...what's the matter?
"I have a weak back"...
When did you get that?"
Oh, about a week back!"
So now, I sit here bent like a pretzel, contemplating shooting heroin in my retna... to ease the pain...in the meantime, another handful of Motrin should suffice.
(We now return to regularly scheduled column)
There are two races that all Nextel Cup drivers want more than others. Daytona 500, NASCAR's biggest event and Indy! No need to explain Daytona here, but, Indy is not only one hell of a payday..$9,180,902.00 it's freakin' INDIANAPOLIS. Can you name a more famous and storied track?
The problem with Cup cars at Indy is...it's a boring race! Always has been, drivers usually have a difficult time passing at Indy. Another thing about Sunday's race is...we'll learn more about who actually has a shot at making the chase for the Nextel Cup.
If Jimmie Johnson has an alright day and his car owner/teammate Jeff Gordon doesn't...The Wonderboy (Jeff) ain't gonna be chasing the Cup. Ever notice how Jeff seems to always be able to bring it, for the really big races?
Gordon can become the all-time race winner at Indianapolis with a victory. Gordon’s four NASCAR wins at IMS ties him with four-time Indianapolis 500 champions A.J. Foyt, Al Unser and Rick Mears... I know...I know...It's a different kinda racin' all together...(It's a different kinda racin').
Stop!..now go back and read that last sentence...did everyone do the "all together" part?
The next best at Indy, is Dale Jarrett... he's won two Brickyard events, and has five top-five runs. He's currently 10th in points. Kevin Harvick won at Indy in 2003. Bill Elliott returns to the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series this week in the #91 car. He won in 2002 and has nine top-10 finishes at Indianapolis… Bobby Labonte has one Brickyard victory and four top fives. … Rusty Wallace has five top fives and nine top 10s. … Mark Martin has four top fives and six top 10s. … Tony Stewart has only six Indy starts in NASCAR, but has put together two top-five and three top-10 finishes. He also made five starts in the Indianapolis 500 from 1996-2001, with three top-10 finishes.
There ain't nobody hotter than "Smoke" (Tony) going into this weekend at what he considers his home track...then, again it's home track status for Ryan Newman and Jeff Gordon too.
Sunday at 2:40pm EST the green flag waves to start 400 miles, 160 laps around a 2.5 mile oval of follow the leader, single line racing and whoever kisses the brick's when it's over...will not only collect one of the biggest paychecks of their career, but own lifelong bragging rights...."Yeah, I won at Indy!"
Mark
P.S....you didn't actually think we'd do a column without mentioning Dale Jr. did you? He's blowing away everyone in the Most Popular Driver voting. With more than 2.5 million votes cast by race fans nationwide at www.mostpopulardriver.comJeff Gordon is running second followed by Kasey Kahne, Kevin Harvick, Rusty Wallace, Tony Stewart, Michael Waltrip, Dale Jarrett, Mark Martin and Jimmie Johnson.
P.S.P.S...the above info on the Most Popular Driver comes to us, courtesy of the "Who Cares" dept. at Kess Media LLC...(our parent company)
P.S.P.S.P.S....It's not Motrin
2 Comments:
This post has been removed by the author.
Hey, isn't "... shooting heroin in my retna" my line? I thought I wrote that...or did I steal it? I don't remember.
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